chekhov:

My asshole is tighter than the bond between a mother and her child

nothingbutflawless:

If you want to be skinny, that’s fine. If you want to be curvy that’s fine. If you want to be tall, that’s fine. If you want to be short, that’s fine. But don’t start insulting different body shapes and sizes just because it isn’t want you would want for yourself.

houshou:

when all ur friends r dating but u and ur just like:

image

closetoalmosthere:

When we’re young our parents embarrass us…

image

But there gets to be a point where we start to embarrass  them… 

image

rhydonmyhardon:

i hate it when flies fucking rub their stupid little shitty hands together like they’re plotting to ruin my life those tiny little bastards

spankmehardbarry:

when ur friend swoops in and manages to grab a french fry off ur tray

image

goblin-sorcerer:

Jesus Camp is a very fun documentary to watch with friends but if you watch it alone you just get scared and angry.

arabellesicardi:

rpattz ALS challenge video is my favorite because it’s the worst. so, basically, in character and totally predictable.